Maybe we have our very own filter like the recently announced “Great Aussie Firewall”. More likely, it’s Google and other sex/porn/erotica guides serving up tiresome smut that appeals to the masses, rather than the erotically-inclined (and incredibly jaded) cognoscente. So many things are censored, inappropriate, in violation of  the TOS, there are very few places to search for (not to mention find)  quality sex blogs and sites that are a little…offbeat. Quirky. Specifically tailored to my fussy needs. You know, the good stuff. (I suppose I’m not really counting Jane’s Guide on my blah-list. There are some interesting finds on there from time to time.)

So, moving on to erotica for the nonce.

Whoops. Just found Sex Files: Sexual Matrix. Onward to erotica after the break.

I knew I’d get over this hump.
Photo via SFW Porn

We all fall prey to that in-and-out urge from time to time. And as the most deviant of us know, you can’t always get what you want. But you can get some fast food to fill you up in the mean time. Here are my favorite greasy picks:

Straight-up porn, nothing fancy.

Yuvutu: amateur porn. Yup, homemade stuff. Without a subscription you can watch up to fifty videos a day, so choose wisely. Some are quite short. You can filter, search by tags, keywords, authors/usernames or channels. Even better, you can subscribe to the most recent videos via RSS. Check out a breakdown of the various features for Free memberships and Premium here. Some other nice extras: forums, chat, private messages between members, and “blogs”.

You all know RedTube, right? ‘nuff said.

Tube8: Nothing really different here. Porn clips from all over, most are decent and do the trick. Private messages to other users is in the works, you can download your favorite videos or save them to a favorites list. Upload, share, vote, and comment on videos. Free registration. I was kind of sated after watching this, so I didn’t delve too deeply into the site. I didn’t see anything about premium features or paid subscriptions. I also didn’t sign up, so if any of you do, let me know what you think.

SpankWire: full access to all videos, comments, add to favorites list, tagging, and uploads for free members. Easy sharing with friends and on your blog, bookmarking via links; Gay and Tranny selections, too. <3 You get a public profile, and you can download (look under the Sharing tab), though you’ve about a one minute wait. Not bad, all in all. They also have a Platinum membership with all the bells and whistles.

You probably also know about YouPorn. More clips.

PornHub: As a social porn site, I really couldn’t ask for more. You can create favorite lists, exchange private messages, upload videos—both public and private, for viewing by friends only, block users, subscribe to members’ feeds, create your own. A full public profile with turn ons/offs, favorite authors, basic info, etc. Upload a picture or avatar, choose who can see your playlist, favorites, friends list, subscriptions, and subscribers. Make your “wall” public or private. Change a variety of email notifications, make comments, and view those on your profile. And wow, do you really rack up friends quickly! This site really has it going on.

PornoTube: C’mon, just another YouTube knock off. For adults. Good clips. Not really social. Upload and create favorites. Eh. Good for quickies.

TubeXXL: RSS feeds for latest video and photos. Basic profile image/bio. My first and last name is required info? Fuck you. Private messages, forum, upload videos. Change your online status, tag stuff, add to favorites list. Browse members. Categories include amateur, anal (surprisingly few),Asian, babes (wtf kinda category is that?), boobs, celebrities (yawn), fetish (quite blasé, really), gay (almost none in this genre), hardcore, hentai, lesbian, mature, teens, vintage, voyeur. Rated a big, fat ho-hum. Still, does the job.

Video Heat Online: Again, my first and last name AND zip is required info? Fuck you with a two by four. Still: Embeddable players and video URLs à la YouTube. Tagging, e-mailing to friends, commenting, ranking/voting. Favorites list, but no feeds. Categories include the following: amateur, anal, Asian, BBW, big tits (again with the boobs and breasts), bisexual (mostly women, some guys), bizarre (fetishistic), blowjobs, cartoons (silly stuff, not much hentai), college girls (coed), cumshots, ebony, fisting, gay (decent selection, no queer stuff), granny (mature), group sex, interracial, lesbian, masturbation, MILF, Party Girls (?–sluts, duh.),issing (golden showers, water sports), pornstars (eh), pregnant, public sex, squirting, teen, transsexual, voyeur. Quite a line up.

Adultspace: Yeah, Myspace for adults. Really not all that interesting, but you get a private area to share photos, blogs, etc. Not really porn, but if you want really, really amateur stuff, go here.

Feeling up for some erotica?

Lush Stories: Write your own or read ‘em. Categories listed are Anal, BDSM, Bisexual, Crossdressing, Exhibitionism, Fetish, First Time, Gay Male, Group Sex, Incest, Interracial, Lesbian, Love Poems, Love Stories, Masturbation, Mature, Novels, Reluctance, Spanking, Straight Sex, Taboo, Toys, Trans, Voyeur, Wife Lovers (MILF). Once you’re signed up, you can post your own stories, along with your copyright and a link to it (think Creative Commons). Set your bio and picture/avatar, give permission for others to embellish your stories. (Hey, Mook!) Private messages, RSS feed for the latest erotica stories, and a forum for the community, as well.

Clean Sheets: If you don’t know this site, you should. This site has been around for ten years, and I’ve watched it grow. As an online erotica magazine, it’s simple, clean, and gives you just what you need. Browse the archives and you may just find the gem you’ve always been looking for.

3D alien porn. Robots. Yes!

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen CGI porn this good. Renderotica is usually my favorite place to go, but those are still images, not movies. Here we have a trailer for an upcoming full-length movie from Pornotopia’s creators, Sagemonn and Karynna. While this is not a free site (I personally don’t care much for pay sites), and the tour’s free images don’t do more than lightly tease your bits, the scenes themselves blossom in your imagination. The animation and scenery is just fantastic. You can see the artistry and deviance in each shot: this is not your run-of-the-mill pornography. We’re talking alien sci-fi and fantasy fetishes here, with incredible vistas and scenes. The movies at least seem to have plots, something that’s usually fairly cheesy and forced in adult movies of any type, but if these two artists are as meticulous with writing the screenplays as they are with 3D modeling and animation, it could be a treat. Pornotopia may well be one of the few porn sites I’d consider subscribing to. They also have some DVDs and CD-ROMs, but I’ll probably check out the 30 day pass first.

I’d let it buffer a bit and skip through the first half and get right to the action.

And guess what? Lots of porn-bling (advertising, you know), but it’s a real site, real chick, and free. She’s tatted, punk, shaved head, pierced, and hot as hell. And here’s her awesome little tentacle monster movie—one of dozens.

I dub this my first official Weekly Obsession.

It’s silly, not all that hot, but I couldn’t help watching it.  It was like a train wreck.  And pbfft—not even true to life. This version of Gargamel’s not bald, Smurfette doesn’t struggle—I’ve no idea what language this is in, and there’re no subtitles, but she seems quite happy. She didn’t even try to flee.  That’s not the saucy little blonde that I remember. Still, it’s about time there was a Smurf tribute. 

Besides, you know you’ve always wanted to see Smurfette get it on.

Oh, and I couldn’t leave out a little comic-style dragon porn.

This one’s from UFOandSex.com, not very original title, but whatever. Lots of Photoshopped images and 3D rendered scenes going on. Neat, in a dorky, unchic-geek kind of way. This site’s niche seems to hinge upon the ol’ “raped by an alien monster” byline of cheesy pulp fiction. Another pay site. *sigh*

If your man’s not big enough, there’s alway hope somewhere in the galaxy…or cyberspace.

I’m totally loving this one! I want one of those torture devices. XXXSpaceGirls.com ain’t free, of course. Bummer. It’s not so arousing for me that I’m going to plunk down any kind of fee, but hey, if you’re hardcore into Barbarella–and I mean hardcore–this site’s for you.

These are images from a site called Up-Kilt. These are all reader-submitted, and as far as I can tell, it’s a totally free site. You can probably tell from the name that it’s about guys in kilts, showing off their luscious goodies. This is pretty much the male version of my school-girls-in-uniforms interest. The gallery links are at the very top of the page, so be sure not to overlook them. I almost did. *whew*

This is David. There’s another one of him without the drawers, but I think this one is so much more sensual. I love getting a little peek without being able to see everything. (At first, anyway. If this were one-on-one, you’d best be stripping down within the first ten minutes.) There are only two of him on that page, but most of the other guys have more images posted.

Billy, an older guy, and quite possibly the hottest old dude I’ve ever seen. You can see even more of his pictures on the site, and I do believe he has more than one page. This is one of my favorites from this guy.

“Jock” has a pretty cock. And I really dig these pictures. The uppermost is just a beautiful cock-shot. I love seeing a fist wrapped around a hard shaft.

Oh, to be the one taking that picture. Definitely lives up to the Up-Kilt billing.

This is Thierry. I love men in pantyhose, too. I think it’s pretty obvious why. Aside from the visual, I adore the sensation of only the sheerest material separating my roaming hands from full contact. You can see him in a kilt and cute mesh panties here.

Now that I’ve found this site, I’m going to have to skip out on sharing my results for “stud piping”, “sock on my cock”, and “cock socks”. (You know the latter’s gotta be good.) And I still have more results to wade through. I swear, I am one lucky chick. Okay, so I’m gonna go masturbate now. You all have fun. Buh-bye. : )

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