Sometimes you just want to tell everybody you see. When I was in college (but not on campus) I tried that once. As amusing as it sounds, it was really only funny to me and my friends. Everyone else just gave us dirty looks, except for one woman, who said, “That’s good!” Elderly and very grandma-ish, I hope I’ll grow up to be as easygoing as she was.

Anyway. That is all.

Maybe we have our very own filter like the recently announced “Great Aussie Firewall”. More likely, it’s Google and other sex/porn/erotica guides serving up tiresome smut that appeals to the masses, rather than the erotically-inclined (and incredibly jaded) cognoscente. So many things are censored, inappropriate, in violation of  the TOS, there are very few places to search for (not to mention find)  quality sex blogs and sites that are a little…offbeat. Quirky. Specifically tailored to my fussy needs. You know, the good stuff. (I suppose I’m not really counting Jane’s Guide on my blah-list. There are some interesting finds on there from time to time.)

So, moving on to erotica for the nonce.

Whoops. Just found Sex Files: Sexual Matrix. Onward to erotica after the break.

I knew I’d get over this hump.
Photo via SFW Porn

We all fall prey to that in-and-out urge from time to time. And as the most deviant of us know, you can’t always get what you want. But you can get some fast food to fill you up in the mean time. Here are my favorite greasy picks:

Straight-up porn, nothing fancy.

Yuvutu: amateur porn. Yup, homemade stuff. Without a subscription you can watch up to fifty videos a day, so choose wisely. Some are quite short. You can filter, search by tags, keywords, authors/usernames or channels. Even better, you can subscribe to the most recent videos via RSS. Check out a breakdown of the various features for Free memberships and Premium here. Some other nice extras: forums, chat, private messages between members, and “blogs”.

You all know RedTube, right? ‘nuff said.

Tube8: Nothing really different here. Porn clips from all over, most are decent and do the trick. Private messages to other users is in the works, you can download your favorite videos or save them to a favorites list. Upload, share, vote, and comment on videos. Free registration. I was kind of sated after watching this, so I didn’t delve too deeply into the site. I didn’t see anything about premium features or paid subscriptions. I also didn’t sign up, so if any of you do, let me know what you think.

SpankWire: full access to all videos, comments, add to favorites list, tagging, and uploads for free members. Easy sharing with friends and on your blog, bookmarking via links; Gay and Tranny selections, too. <3 You get a public profile, and you can download (look under the Sharing tab), though you’ve about a one minute wait. Not bad, all in all. They also have a Platinum membership with all the bells and whistles.

You probably also know about YouPorn. More clips.

PornHub: As a social porn site, I really couldn’t ask for more. You can create favorite lists, exchange private messages, upload videos—both public and private, for viewing by friends only, block users, subscribe to members’ feeds, create your own. A full public profile with turn ons/offs, favorite authors, basic info, etc. Upload a picture or avatar, choose who can see your playlist, favorites, friends list, subscriptions, and subscribers. Make your “wall” public or private. Change a variety of email notifications, make comments, and view those on your profile. And wow, do you really rack up friends quickly! This site really has it going on.

PornoTube: C’mon, just another YouTube knock off. For adults. Good clips. Not really social. Upload and create favorites. Eh. Good for quickies.

TubeXXL: RSS feeds for latest video and photos. Basic profile image/bio. My first and last name is required info? Fuck you. Private messages, forum, upload videos. Change your online status, tag stuff, add to favorites list. Browse members. Categories include amateur, anal (surprisingly few),Asian, babes (wtf kinda category is that?), boobs, celebrities (yawn), fetish (quite blasé, really), gay (almost none in this genre), hardcore, hentai, lesbian, mature, teens, vintage, voyeur. Rated a big, fat ho-hum. Still, does the job.

Video Heat Online: Again, my first and last name AND zip is required info? Fuck you with a two by four. Still: Embeddable players and video URLs à la YouTube. Tagging, e-mailing to friends, commenting, ranking/voting. Favorites list, but no feeds. Categories include the following: amateur, anal, Asian, BBW, big tits (again with the boobs and breasts), bisexual (mostly women, some guys), bizarre (fetishistic), blowjobs, cartoons (silly stuff, not much hentai), college girls (coed), cumshots, ebony, fisting, gay (decent selection, no queer stuff), granny (mature), group sex, interracial, lesbian, masturbation, MILF, Party Girls (?–sluts, duh.),issing (golden showers, water sports), pornstars (eh), pregnant, public sex, squirting, teen, transsexual, voyeur. Quite a line up.

Adultspace: Yeah, Myspace for adults. Really not all that interesting, but you get a private area to share photos, blogs, etc. Not really porn, but if you want really, really amateur stuff, go here.

Feeling up for some erotica?

Lush Stories: Write your own or read ‘em. Categories listed are Anal, BDSM, Bisexual, Crossdressing, Exhibitionism, Fetish, First Time, Gay Male, Group Sex, Incest, Interracial, Lesbian, Love Poems, Love Stories, Masturbation, Mature, Novels, Reluctance, Spanking, Straight Sex, Taboo, Toys, Trans, Voyeur, Wife Lovers (MILF). Once you’re signed up, you can post your own stories, along with your copyright and a link to it (think Creative Commons). Set your bio and picture/avatar, give permission for others to embellish your stories. (Hey, Mook!) Private messages, RSS feed for the latest erotica stories, and a forum for the community, as well.

Clean Sheets: If you don’t know this site, you should. This site has been around for ten years, and I’ve watched it grow. As an online erotica magazine, it’s simple, clean, and gives you just what you need. Browse the archives and you may just find the gem you’ve always been looking for.

3D alien porn. Robots. Yes!

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen CGI porn this good. Renderotica is usually my favorite place to go, but those are still images, not movies. Here we have a trailer for an upcoming full-length movie from Pornotopia’s creators, Sagemonn and Karynna. While this is not a free site (I personally don’t care much for pay sites), and the tour’s free images don’t do more than lightly tease your bits, the scenes themselves blossom in your imagination. The animation and scenery is just fantastic. You can see the artistry and deviance in each shot: this is not your run-of-the-mill pornography. We’re talking alien sci-fi and fantasy fetishes here, with incredible vistas and scenes. The movies at least seem to have plots, something that’s usually fairly cheesy and forced in adult movies of any type, but if these two artists are as meticulous with writing the screenplays as they are with 3D modeling and animation, it could be a treat. Pornotopia may well be one of the few porn sites I’d consider subscribing to. They also have some DVDs and CD-ROMs, but I’ll probably check out the 30 day pass first.

I’d let it buffer a bit and skip through the first half and get right to the action.

And guess what? Lots of porn-bling (advertising, you know), but it’s a real site, real chick, and free. She’s tatted, punk, shaved head, pierced, and hot as hell. And here’s her awesome little tentacle monster movie—one of dozens.

I dub this my first official Weekly Obsession.

I have no idea who the other people are. Mostly because they don’t want to be recognized. We really don’t want anyone to know we have virtual-cyber-3d-scripted-type sex, do we? We’ll call them Lessimus Maximus and uh, Boy Toy.

It’s silly, not all that hot, but I couldn’t help watching it.  It was like a train wreck.  And pbfft—not even true to life. This version of Gargamel’s not bald, Smurfette doesn’t struggle—I’ve no idea what language this is in, and there’re no subtitles, but she seems quite happy. She didn’t even try to flee.  That’s not the saucy little blonde that I remember. Still, it’s about time there was a Smurf tribute. 

Besides, you know you’ve always wanted to see Smurfette get it on.

The phrasing kind of throws me; I’d rather think of it as same-sex and opposite-sex congress, but it means the same thing. When it comes to each separate sexual act and/or partner, I can’t say that I prefer one or the other. What I do prefer, however, is knowing that I won’t be constrained to just the one gender. This is fine for flings or casual sex—not just fine, but great. Even better is having a bisexual lover. Male or female, it doesn’t matter to me. The only thing that does matter is that we understand each other, that we understand that sex is not intimacy, that monogamy is not love, and that we can have it all. Or damn close to it.

There was a time when I thought that I didn’t need that kind of freedom or would want an open relationship. I thought that when I found The One, I would settle down and never desire or look at anyone else again. But years have gone by, and if there’s one thing that I’ve noticed, it’s that my attraction to opposite and same sexes and genders shows no sign of waning, even in a relationship. I want someone to share that with me, someone to be part of my sex life always, but not limit me to just him or her. I don’t want monogamy, but I want to be with someone I know inside and out, who knows me the same way. Someone who’s mine, who can explore and experience our sexuality together.

I suppose I could have all of that within a heterosexual-style relationship, but I don’t want that. As bisexuals, we come to different (or at least deeper) understandings of our own sexuality, and I’ve yet to find a hetero guy who truly gets that part of me. I want lascivious bi-orgies, MMF and MFF threesomes, and sleepy, tired, comfortable sex, and I want it all in one package.

The best sex for me is bi-sex.