I’m not going to get too technical in this post. Not that I’m even qualified to do so. I think I’d have to have a much better grasp of psychology, as well as BDSM. I merely want to say that it bothers me when people take issue with the fact that I take pleasure in being objectified in a sexual context. That includes being struck in certain places, being bound in certain positions, and just overall being treated roughly and like an object of pleasure.

One of the most common half-baked amateur diagnoses seems to be low self-esteem, which I think couldn’t be farther from the truth when it comes to who I really am and what makes me tick. In fact, usually, it comes from someone who barely knows me. There’s also a tendency for the assumptions and accusations to come from someone who may have had a bad experience with kinky sex, or has never tried it at all, or has in fact tried it and wound up disliking it, or is just making judgment based on preconceived notions of S&M and other forms of unconventional sexual expression.

Like I said, I’m no expert in psychology. In addition, I’ve never discussed this issue with a therapist — something that may allow me to work toward pinpointing why I enjoy the kinky things I enjoy. But would it be worth it? Would it be worth all the time, money and effort? My philosophy is that the simpler pleasures in life, including bending over someone’s lap for a good spanking, are better left unanalyzed. It would be like analyzing why I like to hear birds chirp, or why I like pizza, or why I like the feeling and smell of a breeze on a spring or summer day. I’m just not willing to trade my happiness or experiential pleasure in this one beautiful life we have to live in return for psychoanalytic speculation. Because, that’s what it would be, after all.

– Cassandra

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