Sometimes you just want to get off. Normally, I feature the hard-to-find sites, or those that actually have something new and twisted going for them. That doesn’t mean I always get off on the outré. There are a fair number of times when I masturbate to some absolute trash.

We all fall prey to that in-and-out urge from time to time. And as the most deviant of us know, you can’t always get what you want. But you can get some fast food to fill you up in the mean time. Here are my favorite greasy picks:

Straight-up porn, nothing fancy.

Yuvutu: amateur porn. Yup, homemade stuff. Without a subscription you can watch up to fifty videos a day, so choose wisely. Some are quite short. You can filter, search by tags, keywords, authors/usernames or channels. Even better, you can subscribe to the most recent videos via RSS. Check out a breakdown of the various features for Free memberships and Premium here. Some other nice extras: forums, chat, private messages between members, and “blogs”.

You all know RedTube, right? ‘nuff said.

Tube8: Nothing really different here. Porn clips from all over, most are decent and do the trick. Private messages to other users is in the works, you can download your favorite videos or save them to a favorites list. Upload, share, vote, and comment on videos. Free registration. I was kind of sated after watching this, so I didn’t delve too deeply into the site. I didn’t see anything about premium features or paid subscriptions. I also didn’t sign up, so if any of you do, let me know what you think.

SpankWire: full access to all videos, comments, add to favorites list, tagging, and uploads for free members. Easy sharing with friends and on your blog, bookmarking via links; Gay and Tranny selections, too. <3 You get a public profile, and you can download (look under the Sharing tab), though you’ve about a one minute wait. Not bad, all in all. They also have a Platinum membership with all the bells and whistles.

You probably also know about YouPorn. More clips.

PornHub: As a social porn site, I really couldn’t ask for more. You can create favorite lists, exchange private messages, upload videos—both public and private, for viewing by friends only, block users, subscribe to members’ feeds, create your own. A full public profile with turn ons/offs, favorite authors, basic info, etc. Upload a picture or avatar, choose who can see your playlist, favorites, friends list, subscriptions, and subscribers. Make your “wall” public or private. Change a variety of email notifications, make comments, and view those on your profile. And wow, do you really rack up friends quickly! This site really has it going on.

PornoTube: C’mon, just another YouTube knock off. For adults. Good clips. Not really social. Upload and create favorites. Eh. Good for quickies.

TubeXXL: RSS feeds for latest video and photos. Basic profile image/bio. My first and last name is required info? Fuck you. Private messages, forum, upload videos. Change your online status, tag stuff, add to favorites list. Browse members. Categories include amateur, anal (surprisingly few),Asian, babes (wtf kinda category is that?), boobs, celebrities (yawn), fetish (quite blasé, really), gay (almost none in this genre), hardcore, hentai, lesbian, mature, teens, vintage, voyeur. Rated a big, fat ho-hum. Still, does the job.

Video Heat Online: Again, my first and last name AND zip is required info? Fuck you with a two by four. Still: Embeddable players and video URLs à la YouTube. Tagging, e-mailing to friends, commenting, ranking/voting. Favorites list, but no feeds. Categories include the following: amateur, anal, Asian, BBW, big tits (again with the boobs and breasts), bisexual (mostly women, some guys), bizarre (fetishistic), blowjobs, cartoons (silly stuff, not much hentai), college girls (coed), cumshots, ebony, fisting, gay (decent selection, no queer stuff), granny (mature), group sex, interracial, lesbian, masturbation, MILF, Party Girls (?–sluts, duh.),issing (golden showers, water sports), pornstars (eh), pregnant, public sex, squirting, teen, transsexual, voyeur. Quite a line up.

Adultspace: Yeah, Myspace for adults. Really not all that interesting, but you get a private area to share photos, blogs, etc. Not really porn, but if you want really, really amateur stuff, go here.

Feeling up for some erotica?

Lush Stories: Write your own or read ‘em. Categories listed are Anal, BDSM, Bisexual, Crossdressing, Exhibitionism, Fetish, First Time, Gay Male, Group Sex, Incest, Interracial, Lesbian, Love Poems, Love Stories, Masturbation, Mature, Novels, Reluctance, Spanking, Straight Sex, Taboo, Toys, Trans, Voyeur, Wife Lovers (MILF). Once you’re signed up, you can post your own stories, along with your copyright and a link to it (think Creative Commons). Set your bio and picture/avatar, give permission for others to embellish your stories. (Hey, Mook!) Private messages, RSS feed for the latest erotica stories, and a forum for the community, as well.

Clean Sheets: If you don’t know this site, you should. This site has been around for ten years, and I’ve watched it grow. As an online erotica magazine, it’s simple, clean, and gives you just what you need. Browse the archives and you may just find the gem you’ve always been looking for.

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