You may or may not be familiar with my orgasm chart. The basic premise is to rate every orgasm of mine on a scale of one to ten. For that, I’ve been using Pasi Matilainen’s Simple Chart plugin. It’s an amazing adjunct to any WP blog, but it no longer works for me. I need to be able to display month-to-month stats, and have a timeline that can be perused. If you take a look at it, you’ll see my stats from November 11, 2006 to present. On Simple Chart, it looks as if I’d scribbled in a square. Another issue: what was I doing, thinking, feeling, and where was I when I was?
Scribble, scribble. So, fine, I need something else.
Enter KittenHate.com. WTF, you ask? Remember that fabulous photo emblazoned with the legend “Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten—Please, think of the kittens” that every single person (AND their mothers) have forwarded to you? Okay, so we all hate kittens. Every time you masturbate, you register your “kill”. Right on. Social climaxing.
You have your own microblog, complete with a feed, that shows up in a public timeline, much like Twitter’s. Your profile (or blog) shows your statistics: total kills, lifetime and daily average, number of friends, along with your world, state, and country ranking. You can also share photo galleries, public and private, allowing your some control over who sees what. Most users aren’t that shy, so you’ll be seeing quite a bit of penis and breasts. Their posts are explicit, but usually not out of the ordinary. You can filter the list by gender or whether it was solo or not (did you get fucked, or did you have to do it yourself?), but not by sexual orientation, which would have been helpful to me.
Your latest kills are listed at the bottom, and while there’s no pagination, there’s a link to your complete kill list. Each post has three sections: location, what you were thinking of, and comments. Those would be your comments on the orgasm. Personally, I’m adding a rating to mine, because that’s just what I do. While users can’t comment on your posts, they can send you a private message. Not my favorite way to communicate, particularly because of the sexual nature of the site, but this can be turned off in preferences. If you leave it on, though, there’s a very basic instant messaging option, but you have to keep the page to the person’s message open. If you don’t, though, you’ll see a blinking envelope in the side bar. Be prepared for cybersex propositions. It’s a friggin’ gold mine, if that’s what you’re looking for.
A couple other interesting things to note:
- You can link to your own blog or site on your profile page.
- There’s a new feature that rounds up all the videos that were posted by members as part of their kills.
- You can search for posts about pre-selected topics, like blow jobs, threesomes, and orgies. You can also enter your own search terms, and select an age range to further filter the results.
- You can choose not to be shown in the “online” section in the sidebar. Helpful in reducing private messages.
- Ads are unobtrusive. Five text links in the side bar and a few almost unnoticeable links in the footer.
- No direct link to the FAQ.
- Interacting with your contacts is kind of hinky; you can view their posted kills by clicking on “Friends” in the nav bar, but you can’t see if they’re online or not, unless they’re showing up in the online section. No notifications. You can manage them by adding or deleting them in the preferences section. You can also see a list of your followers. No blocking, as far as I can tell. (I don’t care, but I’m sure some do.)
- There’s no option to opt out of the public timeline. If you’re shy, I suggest you don’t sign up, or post a kill if you do. The public timeline is also listed in the widely distributed Sex-Kitten Sex Feed (which you can see to the right here). I really like that, personally. In fact, that’s how I found Kitten Hate; a sweet little gem about a micropenis.
The site seems to be in a beta stage, but new features are being added all the time. Maybe some of those Eh items will get crossed off the list. In the meantime, I’ll be importing the feed into this blog and using it in place of my orgasm chart. Until I get that set up, you can find me here.