What I Learned from Twitter Today: Penis Theft
Mercy, April 25, 2008
Filed Under WTF |
Twitter’s all aflutter with news from Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of Congo:
Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men’s penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.
Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.“I’m tempted to say it’s one huge joke,” Oleko said.
“But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it’s become tiny or that they’ve become impotent. To that I tell them, ‘How do you know if you haven’t gone home and tried it’,” he said.
And there’s more from Benin, which, seeing as how it isn’t all that close to the Congo, lends a twisted bit of credence to all the evil thievery:
The authorities in Benin have ordered security forces to curb violence in the commercial capital, Cotonou, following the deaths of five people by vigilantes
There have been reports of at least 10 such attacks since Saturday.
Four of those who died were burned, another man was hacked to death.
Correspondents say that mobs have attacked indivduals accused of using magic to steal men’s penises.The belief that men’s private parts can mysteriously disappear through a handshake or an incantation is commonplace in Benin where superstition and illiteracy are rife.
If I had magic, that’s just what I’d do. Steal a penis, because, you know…well, I don’t see the need, but obviously these guys do. Forget world domination, harems of women, butt-loads of money. It’s all about the penis.
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Onanastic Escapades
Location: Lounging on the back porch.
Inspiration: Life is crazy. Lack of sex or masturbation or porn drives me nuts. Short sessions of me-time just don't seem to do it for me, but they keep me from punching people out of utter frustration. I'd hoped tonight I'd have some much needed R&R&porn, but alas, instead I masturbated to a commercial for some shampoo. And I can't even remember the name of the brand.
FYI: Rated 3.
July 22nd 2008
Inspiration: It's raining. Thunder, lightning. How can I resist, laying out naked under the warm rain, watching the light show? I can feel the charge in the air, tautening my skin, making my nipples hard and firm against my palms. The rain pours down, cooling my heated body, but I can feel the humidity rising in waves as my orgasm cascades over and through me. It's long, long moments before I can rise and make my way inside, drenched and drained.
FYI: Rated 9.
July 13th 2008
Inspiration: Shared fantasies, small tidbits from innocuous conversations that spark the imagination and ignite a longing and burning at my core. I savor it, letting my fingers roam but restraining myself. I know that I want it fast, hard, but I also want it to go on and on. And so I keep myself at the edge with the brush of a fingertip, the slow, lazy curl of a finger inside myself. I hold that feeling, teetering on the brink until I can stand it no longer. With one quick thrust of my fingers, a tap on my clit, I send myself spinning over the small, frail barrier I'd built to hold it back.
FYI: Rated 9.
July 3rd 2008
Inspiration: A hard pounding, Texans, and wishing I had a jacuzzi again.
FYI: Rated 8.
July 2nd 2008
Inspiration: Feeling relaxed, elated for no reason I can discern.
FYI: Rated 7.
July 1st 2008
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It been a problem in Indonesia for some years where they just shrink away.
http://insideindonesia.org/content/view/297/29/
Yowch.