Bi Sex

A while back there was a post on Boinkology speculating on which was better: hetero-sex or gay-sex? I couldn’t decide, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Certainly, it’s not the first time I’ve come across the question, though usually it’s in a somewhat private venue. If by “somewhat private” we also count those times it’s blurted out in an IRC channel.

The phrasing kind of throws me; I’d rather think of it as same-sex and opposite-sex congress, but it means the same thing. When it comes to each separate sexual act and/or partner, I can’t say that I prefer one or the other. What I do prefer, however, is knowing that I won’t be constrained to just the one gender. This is fine for flings or casual sex—not just fine, but great. Even better is having a bisexual lover. Male or female, it doesn’t matter to me. The only thing that does matter is that we understand each other, that we understand that sex is not intimacy, that monogamy is not love, and that we can have it all. Or damn close to it.

There was a time when I thought that I didn’t need that kind of freedom or would want an open relationship. I thought that when I found The One, I would settle down and never desire or look at anyone else again. But years have gone by, and if there’s one thing that I’ve noticed, it’s that my attraction to opposite and same sexes and genders shows no sign of waning, even in a relationship. I want someone to share that with me, someone to be part of my sex life always, but not limit me to just him or her. I don’t want monogamy, but I want to be with someone I know inside and out, who knows me the same way. Someone who’s mine, who can explore and experience our sexuality together.

I suppose I could have all of that within a heterosexual-style relationship, but I don’t want that. As bisexuals, we come to different (or at least deeper) understandings of our own sexuality, and I’ve yet to find a hetero guy who truly gets that part of me. I want lascivious bi-orgies, MMF and MFF threesomes, and sleepy, tired, comfortable sex, and I want it all in one package.

The best sex for me is bi-sex.


  • The best relationship I ever had was with another bi woman, the second best with a bi man. But to say who was “better” is impossible. Both of them were better than any heterosexual relations I had in the past.

  • Well as a 43 year old manly male who has been married for 19 years I can speak a little to you on this topic. I too have never stopped wanting for what I shouldn’t have, and I have found that when you get what you shouldn’t be desiring the temptation to have even more is like an addiction. Regardless of whether it is with a man or a woman the sex is usually better mostly because it is new and any inhibitions that you may have established with your significant other are not there. I find myself much more open with with my sexuality when it is not with my signifcant other but I agree that the need to have that one person in your life that you want to share everything with is a lot more inportant than the sex. The concept of an open marriage is intriguing and some people make it work but it can get complex and really requires a couple who are strong with their own relationship and don;t get jealous. Lets face it, if you come home and your wife says “I went out shopping, had a parnet teacher conference and fucked the neighbor today” and first response is “how was the parent teacher conference”, then perhaps it could work for you.

  • Eucalingus wrote:

    Taps on your shoulder ;)

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