Pretty Vaginas ARE Real

I came across a clip from the Tyra Banks Show on Stereohyped and got to see a real live vulva puppet. I get that there really are women out there that don’t know much about their girly bits. (We’ll just call them cunts from here on out, shall we? It’s my favorite word and bit. Semantics later.) It’s great that there are people out there who can give them real information about their bodies, how and what to touch, where babies and pee comes from, etc.

What I take issue with, is how this whole thing is treated. It can’t be crass or vulgar. That vulgar vulva is so icky. So let’s make a puppet. Women love puppets! Let’s prettify it and take some pains to explain that a real vagina won’t look like this, so don’t freak out, m’kay?

How about talking a little bit about how beautiful it is? Maybe some mention that, for centuries, societies have imbued female sexuality with so many negative connotations, so that even our very words for our genitalia are thought of as cuss words, obscenities? Remember that: our words. Our vaginas, our cunts, our pussies, ours. Not one bit of it, in all of its myriads shapes, colors, textures, and tastes, is repellent or disgusting.

We don’t need your fucking puppets.

And so, let us commence with the mocking of fake cunts.

vaginalpuppet

This is your vagina. (Okay, it’s mine. And I bet mine is bigger than yours.)

vaggypuppet

Dr. Debbie’s vulva puppet is made with satin and velvet and LITTLE FLOWERS DOWN THERE in the Happy Hole. To make it seem more appealing and non-threatening. Tyra likes it: “I’m so happy you have this, because it really, it makes it cute and sweet and not scary. It’s like a stuffed animal, you know, it’s just nice, and friendly.”

Excuse me. Mine is cute, friendly, sweet, and definitely not scary. Another thing it’s not: a stuffed animal, or anything like.

vaggypuppet_clittouch

Ew. I touched the clit.

vaggypuppet_noFEAR

Don’t be afraid, it won’t bite you.

Unless it senses your fear.

And here’s the video. Watch it before YouTube decides that the “Vulva Puppet” title is just too dirty.

7 Comments

  • Yeah… I fully agree. Pussies are beautiful gorgeous things that I could just stare at for hours. Well, ok. Not hours. Things other than staring will happen long before hours go by. But I digress. THAT one, the puppet, is scary. It’s like something out of the Alien movies. My honest to god first thought when I saw the picture, before I read the headline, was ‘That’s a nasty wound. Might want to get that looked at.’

    Also, somethere, a plushophile just got very, very confused.

  • It does look like a nasty wound, and puts me in mind of that lovely word “gash”. (Ugh.) I’ll find that pretty penis puppet and see if we can bang ’em. Now THAT would be an educational video.

  • I just get the 80s song “The Stroke” by Billy Squier in my head.

  • I’ll have to check that out. I wonder if it’s as dirty as the name implies. *s*

  • hahaha LMAO hilarious video. this is indeed ridicoulous. pussies are the cutest thing on earth, and certainly nothing disgusting about it. i agree that historically many mainly religiously oriented organisations be them sexual education or plain religious propaganda organisations that tries to make girl’s pussies look evil. this puppet is a prime example. it IS ugly.

    oh, and I love you! *sweet kissy on your pussy*

  • my girlfriend’s pussy looks EXACTLY like that. strange! and velvety! and so so delicious in my mouth!

    seriously, they should have just used a live model. let’s all stop fucking around. a puppet? really? why not a real vagina? isn’t the point to destigmatize the it? to celebrate the human body? to celebrate pussy?

    we can show people being shot in the fucking eye on television but not a vagina?

    this makes me sad. we all came out of at least one of them. let’s show some gratitude!

  • haha, the it! i am a stupid.

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