So I’m finally off those medications I’d had prescribed for my BDD n’ OCD. The withdrawls were vicious and I’m still feeling the lingering aftereffects, but thank the fucking gods I’m almost done with it. I figured I’d give this therapy and medication crap a year, but yeah, okay. Fuck that. Therapy I’ll still do, but no more medications. I swung back and forth from deep depressions to violent explosions, both leading to lotsa fun self-beatings and worse. I wasn’t even leaving the house for fear of what kind of mischief Crazy Med Girl might get up to. I only ventured out when I absolutely had to; you know, for food and sex, when I couldn’t have it delivered. That sucked. Not to mention my brain malfunctioning something fierce—when it worked at all. Now I’m almost back to my old self. Neurotic, sure, but goddamn it, at least I know how to deal with that, and I have this sneaking suspicion that my little quirks were all that’s been keeping me sane.
Back I go to those old habits I was trying to quell, or at least moderate: bad, frequent, meaningless sex with bunnies and random stangers; lots of drinking (hopefully that will also involve a good banging from time to time); inability to function in a relationship, communicate with partner, form meaningful, deep committments (which is great, it’s difficult to leave abruptly after a good fuck when you have respect for someone).
Here’s where I throw in irrelevant data.
Had an article published on PP about Furry Beauty. Joined Profilactic, a nice mashup of alot of my accounts n’ stuff. Virb.com, another community site, which is pretty clean and slick. Still loving Twitter, and having fun looking at panties on Flickr. Bought virtual land in Second Life, having fun scripting odd things into small objects. Trying to set up an AI program for an alternate avatar so I can have my very own obedient sex bot follow me around and heed my deviant desires. Okay, so honestly, I haven’t done much with any of the above except Twitter. I’m planning on it, though, and now that I’m feeling more like myself and a whole lot more energetic and smart, I can. Finally.