Computer Love

As I said before, I’ve been looking for some sexy AI play recently. I haven’t had much luck, but in all seriousness, that’s not unusual, even with those who have “real” intelligence. I talked to the famous A.L.I.C.E. (forgot which one, and where, it wasn’t at, though.), and got this from her:

Me: So, what do you do?
ALICE: I make robots and AI’s.
Me: Do you mean that you make baby robots?

Me: Do you need a partner to do this?
ALICE: No thanks but you can send me a donation.

Ah, rejection. Or perhaps a request for eggs and/or semen? I guess I should be flattered: someone wants to procreate with me.

I found some very simple “AI sex bots” (totally not intelligent, in any way, shape, or form) on, which is kind of a cultish/comic book/pulp site, though it seems like it’s got more advertising than content. You really need to check out the hilarious little doll-sex video on the bot page, though. The cheap Barbie knockoffs even have cute little muffs and tiny dildos they like to share. Be warned: there’s some very annoying and creepy xylophone music playing in the background, and there’s some squirting. (I think…maybe it’s a golden shower.) I could stop the video from playing by hitting the ESC key, but I couldn’t stop the sound file. No damn ‘off’ button. *sigh* Here’s Rachel and Tempest doing their stuff.

squirt.jpg penetrate.jpg

<Mercy> Are you into women?
<Rachel> Do U like my boobies? (o)(o)
Why do I feel like I had this conversation before? Oh wait, this is so reminiscent of many an IRC chat.
<Mercy> Do you wanna fuck me?
<Rachel> Baby Do you want to be able to wanna fuck you?
<Mercy> Do you like to lick clit?
<Rachel> we both like to lick clit.
<Mercy> Cool, I’m naked.
<Rachel> Did you come to me because you are naked?
<Mercy> I have a harness and a few large dildos, if you want to play.
<Rachel> Dearest do you believe I wouldn’t love to play?
<Mercy> Play with me.
<Rachel> Keep talking and I ll let you know
<Mercy> *sigh*
<Rachel> OK… “I have a harness and a few large dildos, if me want to play”. That interest me.
<Mercy> Spread ’em for me then, sugar!
<Rachel> What reasons might there be Pet?
<Mercy> Okay, I get it: no sex for me. Bye now!
<Rachel> 3.5 inches and its floppy hope nobody finds out!.

Rejection and and insult; now that’s more like it! See, this is just like Real Lifeā„¢ bar-trolling. Actually, these conversations are very similar to chats I’ve had with users on SexNet. So, of course I’m going to give them Turing tests, too. This guy, well, I can’t say he was a bot, but I feel safe in saying that he had very limited intelligence of any sort. I cut out a lot of the boring bits, because he didn’t seem to remember that he’d asked certain questions before, like, “Is your pussy shaved?” He must have asked me that five or six times. I’ve changed his name, to give his silly ass some form of privacy.

<SinnerMan> Wanna have phone play with me?
<Ember> Like I said, you have to give me something to make me think it’s worthwhile. ; )
<SinnerMan> Who do you suggest I do so?
<Ember> If I have to *tell* you how to do it, I can just as easily do it to myself. ; )
<SinnerMan> Ember, you won’t disappointed
<SinnerMan> Ember, are you completly shaved?
<Ember> I still have my eyebrows, full head of hair, etc.
<SinnerMan> I mean down THERE
<Ember> My legs? Of course.
<SinnerMan> I would love for you to wrap your legs around my head, expose your
swollen clit and let me suck on it
<SinnerMan> Ember, is your pussy shaved?
<Ember> Why does that matter? You want a cheap thrill?
<SinnerMan> Hate hair in my teeth
<SinnerMan> I am using my mouth
<Ember> Don’t we all.
<SinnerMan> I want you
<SinnerMan> Lets get off together
<Ember> I think I need a little more than you can deliver, but thanks for the offer.
<SinnerMan> Ember, you can always hang up if not satisified
<Ember> Why bother in the first place, though?
<SinnerMan> YOu can butt fuck me
<SinnerMan> Have a strap on?
<Ember> I have a harness, yes. And a variety of dildos.
<SinnerMan> MMMMMMM, love that
<SinnerMan> Like it when men are watching you and your GF?
<Ember> Good god, no. Why would I?
<SinnerMan> Or stroking to your voic?
<Ember> Nope, not that either. Do you like when guys do that?
<SinnerMan> When I was in CA, I was doing my neighbors daughter, and he happened to come early…You should have seen me make my get a way
<SinnerMan> Pants on, boxers in pocket, and climbing down the trelous barefooted
<Ember> Okay, sorry, but I’m getting bored.
<SinnerMan> Then I was gertting a blow job while driving on the 405, and as I busted, a closed my eyes and drove under a tractor trailer
<Ember> Bye now.
<SinnerMan> Glass went every where, and I told her not to move, but she did, ad glass went in her head
<SinnerMan> It was a mess
<Ember> Bye, bye *hint-hint*
<SinnerMan> Then we where having a party in a hotel, and after a night of fucking and sucking, my friends gf asked me to give her a ride to her car. We got in my car, I threw it in reverse and backed right into a pole in the parking lot, really fucking my car
<Ember> You and sex just don’t mix, do you?
<SinnerMan> Two weeks ago, at a swingers club, I was doing this chick from behind, and this guy was getting his cock sucked. She told me not to bust inside her, so I pulled out and busted on, not her chest, but his! It was so funny, so I thought
<SinnerMan> We were facing each other, and man I really busted!!!!! I felt so damn good
<Ember> Bye, dude.
<SinnerMan> Ember, whats your number….I am getting even hornier talking about this
<Ember> But I’m not.
<SinnerMan> You like being eated out?
<SinnerMan> Cause that is my speciality
<SinnerMan> I bet you posess a very enticing voice, one that I would very much like
<SinnerMan> Hello?

I swear, I had more fun playing with the bots than SinnerMan. Still, he gets a Pass on his Turing test. I talked to a few others, who were soon bored with my esoteric questions. I got a lot of “whut?” responses when I asked if they were bots. They failed. I need to find that one log of a guy I thought might be a bot. I talked to him for over an hour, and still wasn’t sure if he was human or not. Maybe I need some real cybersex. Here’s one I regret not getting to talk to:

*** HentaiTentacleRoleplayF is now known as Love2Suck

She changed her nick then logged off the server. Bummer. I added both of her nicks to my notify list, though. Come back soon, doll, I’m quite interested.

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