I came across a beautiful forum post about gender whilst hunting for gay male porn, and I had to share:
It’s much easier to formulate an identity when you have limited options. I am, or I am not. You are, you are not. I am like you, I am not like you. Like a logic test, identity becomes series of yes and no questions. If all other options are merely steps toward yes or no, then all you must do is follow the sequence. Lo and behold, you are at your destination. You belong. And to think, all you had to sacrifice were complexity, doubt, and integrity.
I am Me, and me is like you in some ways, and unlike you in others. Me is always changing, growing, evolving. Don’t try to pin me down, or I’ll wither and die.
That’s just an excerpt; I only quoted the last part of the post by someone named sublimeinfinity. The thread was about bisexuality on the board at Just Us Boys, a “pretty boy” gay community. (If you’re into young-looking gay guys, I’d recommend the site, lots of sweet hotties. I need a little more of that manly, raw *uNF*, myself. Innocence just doesn’t do it for me.) Just as anywhere else, I came across some strong opinions about bisexuality. Is it a phase? Many think so. I know it’s not a phase for me. As the poster said, it’s easier to formulate an identity within limited boundaries. However, I don’t necessarily think of it as a bad thing. It’s a starting point in finding out who you are. I always keep in mind that a label doesn’t change or define me. I change the label. I define it. When people look at me, “that bisexual chick”, I want them to see a strong, smart person, not some drunken college girl flashing a camera while she tongues her roomie. I like to think that I’ve succeeded in that.