I once ran across a Mae West quote so apt, I’ve made it my signature on many on-line venues. “There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out.” I’d been a fan, since my mother had nurtured a love of the old black and whites in me, but I don’t think I understood until that moment the profound impact that West had had on women. One of the most important lessons being an open and honest sensuality.
I, myself, have found that speaking of my own fantasies is incredibly difficult. Most times, if asked, I’ll demure and say that I have private fantasies to get off on, and they’re no one else’s business. That still holds true. However, these past few years I’ve found that the act of speaking out has had positive consequences. My greatest fear previous to this…”enlightenment” has been the fear of rejection. I’d thought that once someone knew the depths of my depravity, they’d either want to have nothing to do with me whatsoever, or see me as the fulfillment of their own fantasies. Of course, now that I’ve recognized the line drawn between love and lust, that’s not such an issue anymore. What is at issue now is the fact that so many people, men for the most part, seem to think that only the “bad girls” do that. Anyone I was dating would never impose their fantasies on me. In fact, they’re so scrupulously correct, they’d never let me impose mine on them…even verbally.
Quite a few times I’ve been told, “Porn fantasies? With strangers or horny sluts, yes. Never with you, baby.” Really? C’mon…really? Are you fucking serious?! I would kill for a partner that’d explore my fantasies with me, and let me in on his. We could do some really creative sexual spelunking. Sadly, this attitude has frightened off more than one. At the best, I get a squeeze and a peck on the cheek, letting me know that my sexual peccadilloes are charming, but never to be fulfilled. Gee whillikers, thanks, you friggin’ cunt tease.
One day soon, people are going to realize that the best thing that they can do for themselves, their partners, and their relationships as a whole is to be honest about what they’re into. Can you imagine what it’d be like, to have your significant other be the concatenation of your every desire? Every night would be a wondrous journey in love and lust. Combined. Should you marry, the quest for further experiences would take you a lifetime to achieve. How great would that be?
I suppose I could start the ball rolling, but I think I already have. I’m going to make reading my blog a requirement for any future relationships. Not flings, of course. Who’s got the time when you just want to get your jollies?