I’ve always had a fondness for tweaking my computer, whether it’s a registry hack to make my life easier, an uber-quiet fan to increase the serenity of my surfing experience, or just some funky sound files for the system events. I really do love my .wav files, and being the nerd that I am, I’ve carried that fondness over to my PDA. I actually bought more memory just to accommodate them. Most of them are small, meant only to replace the blips, bleeps, and chimes that are the standard fare. But the larger ones I use for comic relief, and most of those are either a little risqu? or downright geeky.
For some god awful reason I thought I’d use one of those dirty .wav files as an alert for a doctor’s appointment I had this afternoon. It went off while I was waiting in line at the bank, innocently flipping through my check book. I almost jumped out of my skin when my PDA gleefully exclaimed, “Mmm baby, what a bad boy you are!”
Mortified, I pretended to glance around accusingly along with everyone else. I’m not usually all that shy about such matters; quite the opposite, in fact. But there’s something about being surrounded by dozens of upstanding citizens that makes one’s bravado quail. I rationalized that I could just wait a minute or two and surreptitiously disable the alert before it went off again, so I composed my expression and stared fixedly at my check book again. After the fiftieth Mississippi, I pulled out the damn gadget and flipped open the cover.
“Mmm, baby,” purred my gizmo. “What a bad boy you are!”
I smiled sheepishly around at everyone as I turned it off and slid it back into my purse. Women frowned ferociously at me for disturbing their meditative silence. Men smiled, winked, and tittered around me. A man walking behind me as I was (finally) leaving kept trying to catch my eye. Finally I turned to him and apologized.
“Oh, that’s okay. Is that the alarm on your phone?” he asked.
“No, I’m just happy to see you,” I quipped. And fled.