Three separate requests for oral today: “Oh, suck my cock.” “Lick me” and, “Eat me!” All from women, oddly enough. And I walked out of the room totally unsated.
Usually I only hear that from passing motorists or construction workers. It might’ve been in response to something I’d said or done; I don’t really remember, though. I was busy trying not to get caught staring at a woman sitting the next table over. I just couldn’t tear my eyes off this peculiar little splotch on the front of her blouse. It could’ve been part of the pattern and a trick of the light. But I’d like to think it was a nipple. Anyway, I guess a few people thought it would be a good day to perform a Random Act of Blandishment. In fact, I think I might take up the habit: hit on someone inappropriate and uninterested, maybe a few sly swipes at buttocks if I think I can get away with it (no cops in screaming-distance). Just to make their day. Kindness, Hollywood style.
But let’s get back to me and what I get out of it. (I just don’t do that often enough. One day I’ll be able to drill it into my thick skull that I am the end-all be-all of the Multiverse. But I digress.) When’re Random Acts of Stimulation coming my way? Is there a legal way to start that kind of organization? I’ll volunteer. Oh, wait, I do that to myself all the time. Anyone else want to volunteer?