Porn Site Roundup

Mercy, June 24, 2008
Filed Under Porn |

Sometimes you just want to get off. Normally, I feature the hard-to-find sites, or those that actually have something new and twisted going for them. That doesn’t mean I always get off on the outré. There are a fair number of times when I masturbate to some absolute trash.

We all fall prey to that in-and-out urge from time to time. And as the most deviant of us know, you can’t always get what you want. But you can get some fast food to fill you up in the mean time. Here are my favorite greasy picks:

Straight-up porn, nothing fancy.

Yuvutu: amateur porn. Yup, homemade stuff. Without a subscription you can watch up to fifty videos a day, so choose wisely. Some are quite short. You can filter, search by tags, keywords, authors/usernames or channels. Even better, you can subscribe to the most recent videos via RSS. Check out a breakdown of the various features for Free memberships and Premium here. Some other nice extras: forums, chat, private messages between members, and “blogs”.

You all know RedTube, right? ‘nuff said.

Tube8: Nothing really different here. Porn clips from all over, most are decent and do the trick. Private messages to other users is in the works, you can download your favorite videos or save them to a favorites list. Upload, share, vote, and comment on videos. Free registration. I was kind of sated after watching this, so I didn’t delve too deeply into the site. I didn’t see anything about premium features or paid subscriptions. I also didn’t sign up, so if any of you do, let me know what you think.

SpankWire: full access to all videos, comments, add to favorites list, tagging, and uploads for free members. Easy sharing with friends and on your blog, bookmarking via links; Gay and Tranny selections, too. <3 You get a public profile, and you can download (look under the Sharing tab), though you’ve about a one minute wait. Not bad, all in all. They also have a Platinum membership with all the bells and whistles.

You probably also know about YouPorn. More clips.

PornHub: As a social porn site, I really couldn’t ask for more. You can create favorite lists, exchange private messages, upload videos—both public and private, for viewing by friends only, block users, subscribe to members’ feeds, create your own. A full public profile with turn ons/offs, favorite authors, basic info, etc. Upload a picture or avatar, choose who can see your playlist, favorites, friends list, subscriptions, and subscribers. Make your “wall” public or private. Change a variety of email notifications, make comments, and view those on your profile. And wow, do you really rack up friends quickly! This site really has it going on.

PornoTube: C’mon, just another YouTube knock off. For adults. Good clips. Not really social. Upload and create favorites. Eh. Good for quickies.

TubeXXL: RSS feeds for latest video and photos. Basic profile image/bio. My first and last name is required info? Fuck you. Private messages, forum, upload videos. Change your online status, tag stuff, add to favorites list. Browse members. Categories include amateur, anal (surprisingly few),Asian, babes (wtf kinda category is that?), boobs, celebrities (yawn), fetish (quite blasé, really), gay (almost none in this genre), hardcore, hentai, lesbian, mature, teens, vintage, voyeur. Rated a big, fat ho-hum. Still, does the job.

Video Heat Online: Again, my first and last name AND zip is required info? Fuck you with a two by four. Still: Embeddable players and video URLs à la YouTube. Tagging, e-mailing to friends, commenting, ranking/voting. Favorites list, but no feeds. Categories include the following: amateur, anal, Asian, BBW, big tits (again with the boobs and breasts), bisexual (mostly women, some guys), bizarre (fetishistic), blowjobs, cartoons (silly stuff, not much hentai), college girls (coed), cumshots, ebony, fisting, gay (decent selection, no queer stuff), granny (mature), group sex, interracial, lesbian, masturbation, MILF, Party Girls (?–sluts, duh.),issing (golden showers, water sports), pornstars (eh), pregnant, public sex, squirting, teen, transsexual, voyeur. Quite a line up.

Adultspace: Yeah, Myspace for adults. Really not all that interesting, but you get a private area to share photos, blogs, etc. Not really porn, but if you want really, really amateur stuff, go here.

Feeling up for some erotica?

Lush Stories: Write your own or read ‘em. Categories listed are Anal, BDSM, Bisexual, Crossdressing, Exhibitionism, Fetish, First Time, Gay Male, Group Sex, Incest, Interracial, Lesbian, Love Poems, Love Stories, Masturbation, Mature, Novels, Reluctance, Spanking, Straight Sex, Taboo, Toys, Trans, Voyeur, Wife Lovers (MILF). Once you’re signed up, you can post your own stories, along with your copyright and a link to it (think ). Set your bio and picture/avatar, give permission for others to embellish your stories. (Hey, Mook!) Private messages, RSS feed for the latest erotica stories, and a forum for the community, as well.

Clean Sheets: If you don’t know this site, you should. This site has been around for ten years, and I’ve watched it grow. As an online erotica magazine, it’s simple, clean, and gives you just what you need. Browse the archives and you may just find the gem you’ve always been looking for.

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Let your fingers do the walking.

Mercy, June 9, 2008
Filed Under Masturbation |

This is one of my favorite methods of foreplay.

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3D Porn: Pornomation

Mercy, June 3, 2008
Filed Under Porn | 2 Comments

robotsI love virtual porn. I’m not talking about Second Life, or at least, not exclusively. I mean god-honest, actual 3D-rendered porn. It’s one of the search terms I use on my nightly forays into cyberspace. But I wasn’t looking for virtual kinks tonight; I was looking for alien porn. And came across Pornotopia.

3D alien porn. Robots. Yes!

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen CGI porn this good. Renderotica is usually my favorite place to go, but those are still images, not movies. Here we have a trailer for an upcoming full-length movie from Pornotopia’s creators, Sagemonn and Karynna. While this is not a free site (I personally don’t care much for pay sites), and the tour’s free images don’t do more than lightly tease your bits, the scenes themselves blossom in your imagination. The animation and scenery is just fantastic. You can see the artistry and deviance in each shot: this is not your run-of-the-mill pornography. We’re talking alien sci-fi and fantasy fetishes here, with incredible vistas and scenes. The movies at least seem to have plots, something that’s usually fairly cheesy and forced in adult movies of any type, but if these two artists are as meticulous with writing the screenplays as they are with 3D modeling and animation, it could be a treat. Pornotopia may well be one of the few porn sites I’d consider subscribing to. They also have some DVDs and CD-ROMs, but I’ll probably check out the 30 day pass first.

 

I’d let it buffer a bit and skip through the first half and get right to the action.


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Take me to the kittens!

Mercy, May 28, 2008
Filed Under Whatever |

flickrkittens

I was browsing Flickr for—I admit it—porn. Somehow, my safe filter got turned on, and what do I see at the top but a “take me to the kittens” link. Funny in light of the fact that I was going to post this to KittenHate anyway.

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Panty Thrills

Mercy, May 23, 2008
Filed Under G-Spotted Sites | 3 Comments

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all have our own private runway shows every time we do a little shopping? The rich and fabulous still get that, and it’s not a new concept. O. Henry’s written short stories about such models, as has Colette and a myriad of other classic authors—most notably telling the story of the poor young girl or boy out on their own in the big, bad world. Men lusted over these waifs, easily bought at a time when women had little in the way of acceptable livelihoods. Women found lovers amongst the young men modeling suits for their husbands. Today, models are much more varied, and undoubtedly draw better wages, but objectification still remains. I find sexual objectification acceptable—except when it covers a whole class of people, rather than just the object of a fantasy. Not one of the many partners peopling my fantasies is anything other than an object of my lust.

Back to the models. While we probably won’t get our own fashion show just by stopping into a store, these days we can get a virtual one. A friend of mine directed me to KnickerPicker to do a little shopping. She probably knew I’d be more enthralled with the models. It’s not really porn, but it might as well be. There’s something intrinsically rousing about women modeling lingerie for you. What I really like about KnickerPicker’s models is that they’re somewhat interactive. You can have them walk towards you, walk back, and turn around. Even better, these models all have different body types, and lack that professional smile. I’ve chosen the one below because she seems appealingly shy. More like a real person than a cookie-cutter mannequin.

And then there’s aussieBum. Not as interactive, but with a plethora of video clips and hot, hot, fucking hot babe shots, it’s hard to beat this site for sheer ocular overload. This one company is making huge changes in the nature of underwear advertising for men. Remember Mark Wahlberg in his tight little Calvin Kleins? Women went crazy over that. Men, not so much.

markwahlbergCK  There’s been little in the way of sexy ads for men, at least those that don’t feature women. Not too long ago, though, I passed by a shop that had an aussieBum display in the front window. I wasn’t the only one who stopped to stare, with a goofy, lusty grin plastered on my face. A number of other women did, too. Some with men—who hung back, clearly disassociating themselves with anything ball-hugging and panty-like. Take that cue, guys: women like these. They’re hot as hell.

The aussieBum video below showcases their new swim line, and they are not Speedos.  More to the point, this video is definitely geared to rev up the viewer’s sex drive.  And not the hetero male’s drive, either.

Have a gander, girls.

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GREEN PORNO: Genital Geometry

Mercy, May 20, 2008
Filed Under Sex, WTF |


Isabella Rossellini’s bizarre and wickedly funny performance art, Green Porno, on the Sundance Channel. Eight short clips, eight different bugs and their mating rituals and sexual kinks. Think you’ve had bad sex? It really could be worse.

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